Ever feel like you are finally hitting your stride, only to pull the rug out from under yourself? Maybe you stop replying to that important client, or you pick a fight with a colleague right before a big promotion. It hits like a tonne of bricks when you realise that the only thing standing between you and the life you want is actually you.
We have all been there. You have a goal, you have the talent, and you definitely have the drive. But then, something shifts. You start procrastinating on the one task that matters, or you suddenly decide you are too tired to show up. This is self sabotage – a frustrating loop where your actions do not line up with your intentions.
At Hey Compono, we know that this behaviour is rarely about laziness. It is usually a misguided attempt by your brain to keep you safe. If you do not try your hardest, you cannot truly fail, right? It is a defence mechanism that feels like a prison. You might have been told you are "too sensitive" or "too intense" in the past, and now you shrink yourself to avoid that criticism again.
Recognising the pattern is the first step toward breaking it. You are not broken, and you do not need a total overhaul. You just need to understand the "why" behind your choices. When you understand your work personality, you can see exactly where these glitches in the system usually happen.
Self sabotage is often a response to the fear of the unknown. Even if your current situation is not ideal, it is familiar. Success, on the other hand, brings new expectations and new ways to be seen. For many of us, being seen feels dangerous. We worry that if people see the real us, they will realise we are just winging it.
This is where different personalities experience sabotage differently. For instance, The Auditor might sabotage a project by getting so bogged down in minute details that they miss the deadline entirely. They are not trying to fail; they are just terrified of making a mistake. By over-analysing, they feel safe, even if the result is a missed opportunity.
On the flip side, The Pioneer might sabotage by jumping to a new, shiny idea before finishing the current one. It is a way to avoid the vulnerability of putting a finished product out there for judgment. If it is never finished, it can never be rejected. Understanding these tendencies is a core part of the Hey Compono approach to personal growth.
Sabotage does not always look like a dramatic explosion. Usually, it is a quiet, persistent whisper that convinces you to take the path of least resistance. One common face is the "Procrastinator". This isn't about bad time management; it's about emotional regulation. You avoid the task because the task makes you feel anxious or inadequate.
Then there is the "People Pleaser". This is common for The Helper. You say yes to everyone else's priorities until you have zero energy left for your own. By making yourself indispensable to others, you effectively sabotage your own career progression. You are so busy putting out everyone else's fires that your own house is neglected.
We also see the "Perfectionist". This person sets the bar so high that it is impossible to clear. The Evaluator often falls into this trap. They use logic to justify why something isn't ready yet, but really, they are just protecting themselves from the sting of being "good enough" rather than perfect. Finally, there is the "Impulsive Diverter" – often The Campaigner – who creates chaos or starts new projects to avoid the boring but necessary work of follow-through.
Breaking free from self sabotage requires a mix of self-awareness and practical action. You cannot just "willpower" your way out of it. You need to create a environment where your natural tendencies work for you, not against you. Start by identifying your triggers. What happens right before you start to withdraw or distract yourself?
Once you know the trigger, you can implement a "circuit breaker". If you know you tend to over-analyse when you're stressed, set a strict time limit for research. If you tend to say yes to too many things, practice a 24-hour delay before agreeing to any new requests. These small boundaries protect you from your own impulses.
It also helps to have a system that understands your specific brain. Hey Compono uses personality-adaptive coaching to give you the exact prompts you need when you are at risk of stalling. Instead of generic advice, you get insights tailored to how you actually think and work. This makes the process feel less like a chore and more like a conversation with a mate who knows you inside out.
The biggest obstacle to stopping self sabotage is the shame that comes with it. When you realise you have messed up again, it is easy to spiral into self-criticism. But shame is a terrible motivator. It just makes you want to hide even more, which fuels the next round of sabotage. It is a vicious cycle that leads nowhere.
Try shifting to curiosity instead. Instead of asking "What is wrong with me?", ask "What was I trying to protect myself from in that moment?". Maybe you were protecting yourself from feeling stupid, or from the pressure of being the leader. When you name the fear, it loses its power over you. You realise you are just a human trying to navigate a complex world.
Remember, growth is not about being perfect; it is about being aware. When you can catch yourself in the act of sabotaging, you have already won half the battle. You can stop, take a breath, and make a different choice. It takes time, but every small win builds the confidence you need to keep going.
Common signs include chronic procrastination, missing deadlines on purpose, picking unnecessary conflicts with colleagues, and turning down opportunities because you feel like an imposter. It often manifests as a gut feeling that you are holding yourself back despite wanting to succeed.
Your personality dictates your "default" sabotage style. For example, a perfectionist might never finish a project, while a people-pleaser might take on too much work to avoid their own goals. Understanding your type helps you spot these specific behaviours early.
It is less about a "cure" and more about management and awareness. By understanding your triggers and using tools like Hey Compono, you can reduce the frequency and impact of these behaviours until they no longer control your career path.
Not always, but it often is. When you procrastinate because a task feels emotionally threatening or overwhelming, you are sabotaging your progress to avoid discomfort. Learning to regulate those emotions is key to stopping the cycle.
You don't have to use the word "sabotage". Instead, talk about your work preferences and where you tend to get stuck. For example, you might say, "I've realised I can get stuck in the details, so I'd love your help in setting firm milestones to keep me moving."