Feeling like people don’t understand me usually stems from a mismatch between your natural work personality and the communication styles of those around you.
Key takeaways
- Misunderstandings often happen because we assume everyone processes information the same way we do.
- Your 'Work Personality' dictates how you lead, follow, and solve problems under pressure.
- Bridging the gap requires self-awareness of your own traits before you can adapt to others.
- Tools like Hey Compono help you translate your natural instincts into language your team actually hears.
It hits you in the middle of a meeting. You’ve just explained a vision you’re passionate about, or perhaps a detailed plan you’ve spent all night perfecting, and you're met with blank stares. Or worse, someone summarizes what you said and gets it completely wrong. You start to wonder if you’re the problem. You’ve likely been told you’re 'too much' of something – too blunt, too quiet, too idealistic, or too rigid.
At Compono, we’ve spent over a decade researching why these friction points exist. The truth is, you aren't broken, and you aren't 'too' anything. You simply have a distinct way of moving through the world. When you say 'people don’t understand me', what you’re actually experiencing is a translation error. You are broadcasting on FM while your team is tuned into AM. To be heard, you don’t need to change who you are; you need to understand the frequency you’re operating on.
Most of us have grown up hearing feedback that feels more like a label than a lesson. If you’re a Campaigner, you might have been told you’re too scattered. If you’re an Auditor, maybe you’ve been called too pedantic. These labels stick because they touch on a fundamental truth: your natural strengths, when misunderstood, look like obstacles to others.
This disconnect happens because every person has a dominant work preference. We call this your work personality. When you lean heavily into your natural style without realizing it, you leave others behind. For instance, a Pioneer is already thinking three years ahead, while the rest of the team is still trying to figure out what’s for lunch. The Pioneer feels misunderstood because the team isn't excited – but the team is just trying to find the ground beneath their feet.
The first step to being understood is recognizing that your 'too much' is actually your greatest asset. It’s the engine that drives your best work. The friction only starts when that engine is running at a speed the rest of the car can't handle. Understanding your own profile via Hey Compono allows you to see exactly where your communication might be hitting a brick wall.
Why does it feel like some people just 'get' us while others feel like a different species? It comes down to how our brains are wired to prioritize information. Some of us are task-focused – we want the 'what' and the 'when'. Others are people-focused – we want the 'who' and the 'how does this feel'. When a task-focused person talks to a people-focused person, the message gets lost in the middle.
Consider the Evaluator. They are logical, critical, and realistic. They see a risk and point it out immediately because they want the project to succeed. But to a Helper, that blunt critique feels like a personal attack on the team’s harmony. The Evaluator feels misunderstood ('I'm just trying to help!') and the Helper feels misunderstood ('Why are they being so mean?').
This isn't a lack of intelligence or even a lack of empathy. It is a lack of a shared framework. Without a way to categorize these behaviours, we default to making up stories about people’s intentions. We assume the Auditor is being difficult on purpose, or the Advisor is being indecisive. In reality, they are just acting out their natural work personality. Hey Compono provides that missing framework, turning 'they don't get me' into 'we have different work styles'.
Being understood is a two-way street, but you can only control your side of the road. Once you realise that your communication style is a choice – not an unchangeable part of your DNA – you gain a superpower. Adaptation doesn't mean being fake; it means being effective. It’s about learning to translate your needs into a language the other person can process.
If you know you’re talking to a Coordinator, you know they value structure and order. Instead of giving them a vague, enthusiastic idea, give them a list. If you’re talking to a Doer, skip the long theory and tell them the first practical step. When you adapt your delivery to match their reception, the 'people don’t understand me' feeling begins to evaporate.
The Hey Compono app uses a personality-adaptive approach to help you with this. It doesn't just tell you who you are; it gives you the specific 'scripts' you need to talk to different personalities. It’s like having a universal translator in your pocket for every difficult conversation or performance review.
There is a deeper reason why we feel misunderstood: the fear of being truly seen. Many of us mask our true work personalities because we’ve been burned before. We try to act like the 'perfect employee' – someone who is equally good at everything – but that person doesn't exist. By trying to be everything, we end up being nothing clearly, which makes it impossible for others to understand us.
Honesty is the antidote. When you are honest about your blind spots, you give others permission to help you. A Campaigner who says, 'I have a tonne of ideas, but I need help with the details', is much more likely to be understood and supported than one who tries to do the details and fails. It takes guts to lead with vulnerability, but it is the only way to build a team that actually functions.
This is why we focus on self-awareness as the foundation of growth. You aren't a cog in a machine; you’re a person with a specific set of drives and drains. When you stop fighting your nature and start leaning into it, you’ll find that people don’t just understand you – they start to value exactly what makes you different.
Key insights
- Misunderstanding is usually a mismatch of work personalities, not a lack of effort.
- Your 'too much' traits are actually strengths that require a specific delivery style.
- Adaptation is about being effective, not being fake.
- Leading with vulnerability about your work preferences helps others meet you halfway.
- Using a shared framework like Hey Compono removes the guesswork from team dynamics.
Stop wondering why you're the only one who sees the problem. It's time to get a clear map of how your brain actually works in a team setting. When you understand your own frequency, you can stop shouting and start communicating.
You likely are. Every person has a dominant work personality that dictates how they process information. If you are a visionary talking to someone who values practical details, your message is getting lost in the 'translation gap'.
Not necessarily. Often, it just means you haven't found the right way to communicate your value to your specific team. Understanding your work personality can help you see if the friction is about the tasks or just the communication style.
The best way is to provide them with a 'user manual' for your brain. By using Hey Compono to identify your work personality, you can give your manager clear tips on how you like to receive feedback and what motivates you to do your best work.
While your core traits remain relatively stable, your ability to 'flex' into other styles grows with self-awareness. You don't change who you are, but you get much better at acting in ways that the situation requires.
This is common for Evaluators or Auditors. Your honesty is a strength, but if the other person is a Helper or Advisor, they might prioritize harmony over blunt facts. Learning to 'soften' the delivery without losing the truth is the key.