First time manager guide: how to survive your first 90 days

Being a first time manager is like being asked to fly a plane while you’re still reading the manual. One day you’re a high-performing individual contributor, and the next, you’re responsible for the output, emotions, and career trajectories of an entire team. It hits like a tonne of bricks when you realise that the skills that got you promoted aren’t the ones that will keep you afloat in this new world.

The problem with being a first time manager

Most people get their first management gig because they were great at their jobs. You were the best coder, the sharpest accountant, or the most persuasive salesperson. But management isn’t about being the best at the work anymore; it’s about being the best at the people. This shift is where most new leaders stumble. You might feel like a bit of a fraud, or perhaps you’re suddenly worried that your team – who used to be your mates – now looks at you differently.

You’ve probably been told you’re 'too hands-on' or 'too distant' in your first few weeks. It’s hard not to take it personally. The truth is, nobody is born knowing how to manage. It’s a completely different craft. We often see people try to mimic the bosses they’ve had in the past, leading to a version of leadership that feels stiff and inauthentic. You aren’t broken, and you aren’t failing; you’re just navigating a massive shift in your professional identity.

Understand your natural work personality

The biggest asset a first time manager can have is self-awareness. Before you can lead others, you have to understand how your own brain is wired. At Hey Compono, we’ve spent over a decade researching how personality drives behaviour in the workplace. We’ve found that everyone has a dominant 'work personality' that dictates how they handle stress, communication, and conflict.

For example, if you are an Evaluator, your natural instinct is to be logical and direct. This is great for making decisions, but as a new manager, your team might find you a bit blunt. On the flip side, if you’re a Helper, you’ll excel at building harmony, but you might struggle to give the tough feedback that’s actually necessary for your team’s growth.

Hey Compono uses a personality-adaptive approach to help you recognise these natural tendencies. By taking a quick assessment, you can see exactly where your superpowers and blind spots lie. This isn’t about changing who you are; it’s about understanding your 'default settings' so you can adjust them depending on what your team needs from you in the moment.

Stop doing and start delegating

The hardest habit for a first time manager to break is the urge to 'just do it myself'. When a deadline is looming and a team member is struggling, your instinct will be to jump in and take over. Resist it. Every time you do the work for someone else, you’re telling them you don’t trust them, and you’re stealing an opportunity for them to learn.

Your job now is to create the environment where work gets done, not to be the person doing the heavy lifting. This requires a shift from 'technical expert' to 'facilitator'. You need to learn the art of the brief – giving clear expectations and then stepping back. If you find yourself working longer hours than your team just to keep up with the tasks you haven’t handed over, you’re on the fast track to burnout.

Using a tool like Hey Compono can help you navigate these awkward transitions. The AI coach understands your specific work personality and can roleplay delegation conversations with you, helping you find the right words to empower your team without sounding like you’re barking orders. It’s about building a rhythm that works for your specific brain and your team’s unique mix of personalities.

Building trust through radical honesty

You might think that being a manager means having all the answers. It doesn’t. In fact, admitting when you don’t know something is one of the fastest ways to build trust with a new team. Your team knows you’re new to this. When you pretend to be the all-knowing oracle, you create a barrier between yourself and the people you’re supposed to be leading.

Try being vulnerable. Tell your team, 'I’m learning how to be a good manager for you, and I might get it wrong sometimes. I need your feedback to get better.' This shifts the dynamic from a hierarchy to a partnership. It also makes it safe for them to admit their own mistakes. Trust isn't built in team-building retreats; it's built in the small, honest moments of a Tuesday afternoon.

Remember that different personalities perceive trust differently. An Auditor builds trust through consistency and attention to detail, while a Campaigner builds it through shared vision and enthusiasm. Understanding these nuances is what separates a boss from a leader.

Navigating the 'mate to manager' transition

If you were promoted from within your team, the boundary shift can be painful. You used to vent about the company in the kitchen with these people, and now you’re the one implementing the policies. There is no way to avoid the awkwardness, so the best approach is to address it head-on. Have individual catch-ups with your former peers and acknowledge that the relationship has changed.

You don't have to stop being friends, but you do have to stop being 'one of the pack' in the same way. You can't be part of the gossip circle anymore. It feels lonely at first, but it's necessary for your professional integrity. If you show favouritism to your old work bestie, you’ll lose the respect of the rest of the team instantly. Fairness is the currency of good management.

Key takeaways for the first time manager

• Self-awareness is your foundation – understand your work personality before trying to manage others.
• Your role has shifted from 'expert' to 'facilitator' – focus on the people, not just the tasks.
• Delegation is a sign of trust, not a lack of work ethic.
• Vulnerability and honesty build more respect than pretending to have all the answers.
• Address the 'mate to manager' transition early and directly to maintain team integrity.

Ready to understand yourself better?

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Frequently asked questions

What is the biggest challenge for a first time manager?

The biggest challenge is usually shifting from being an individual contributor to a leader. You have to stop focusing on your own tasks and start focusing on enabling your team to perform. This often involves letting go of control and learning to delegate effectively.

How can I build trust with my team as a new leader?

Trust is built through transparency, consistency, and vulnerability. Be honest about what you know and what you're still learning. Listen more than you speak, and show your team that you have their backs when things get difficult.

Should I change my personality to be a better manager?

Absolutely not. The best leaders are authentic. Instead of changing your personality, you should learn to understand your natural tendencies and 'flex' your style based on the situation. Hey Compono helps you do this by providing coaching tailored to your specific work personality.

How do I handle managing people who were previously my peers?

Address the change directly in one-on-one conversations. Acknowledge the shift in the relationship and set clear boundaries. Consistency and fairness are vital here to ensure no one feels there is favouritism at play.

How long does it take to feel comfortable as a first time manager?

It usually takes about six months to a year to find your rhythm. The first 90 days are the most intense as you learn the ropes. Using on-demand coaching tools like Hey Compono can significantly speed up this learning curve by providing real-time support.